Rhyme and Reason

I've been trying to figure this life stuff out. Has anyone ever noticed how weird it is?

Pretend you are complete stranger who has followed every move you've ever made and knows everything about you. Look at what has gone on in your life through the eyes of this stranger and seriously try to make sense of it. Trust me, it's NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

Think about the people in your life, the decisions you've made, the reasons behind those decisions at the time. Does any of it make sense? Probably not.

I have been thinking about that, and really life is a crazy ride, isn't it?

There is no reason behind any of it. Five years ago, I would have thought my life would be completely different. I would've thought I'd be all edjamacated and married and well on my way to fertility treatments and kids by now. Instead, I figured out the guy I thought I was going to be married to is a complete creep and that feeling I'd been having since, I don't know, roundabout MIDDLE SCHOOL, that girls were all purtty and maybe even kissable was a little more than a feeling.

I'm not who I thought I'd be then. I'm not who I wanted to be then. But I am who I want to be now. But I'm still trying to find reason behind it. I'm still trying to figure it out. And the craziest thing is I'm still trying to figure out who I'll be in five years.