Sunday, March 18, 2007

the calm after the storm

A part of me is afraid that I stay because going home would mean cutting down on my own drinking. I don't know that this is actually true, because WEEKS can go by where I can control or even completely stop my own alcohol intake. I almost always end up drinking too much again, but I can usually stop within a day or two and just not drink or control it in such a way that I can function normally again.

I get scared of so many things. And then there comes a moment where there is that calm. That place where you know everything is going to be okay. Sometimes it's fleeting, but it always comes. I am waiting for it right now.

*sits back and waits*